The Suit
by Pickwick12
Summary: An exploration of the mind of Peter Burke. One chapter for each episode, goes alongside the series, written as I watch each episode for the first time. Non-slash, but lots of friendship and family relationships. Stands alone, but is a companion story to The Fedora.
1. Flux

**Flux**

The sun rises. The sun sets. Peter Burke likes consistency. That's why he likes Neal Caffrey. It's the conman's patterns that finally do him in. They're complicated, artistic webs of deceit, but Peter finally figures them out.

That's what doesn't jive the second time. It's not like Neal to escape three months before his sentence ends, and Neal Caffrey is nothing if not utterly and completely consistent. That's what leads Peter to a garage and a pillar and a young man who looks like he's just lived through the end of the world.

Peter is surprised at the feelings that fill him. He's never seen Neal Caffrey in flux. The day of his arrest, he was quietly confident. In court and during interrogations, he never lost his soft defiance. Peter has come to respect his cordial unwillingness to break, but that is all gone, and the agent feels a surge of something that's a little like pity and a lot more like compassion for a friend than he would have expected.

For long weeks after, Peter mulls over Neal's offer. His final acceptance has nothing whatsoever to do with what Caffrey can do for the bureau, even though he can list about a hundred reasons in defense of the idea. No, when he finally puts his paperwork away and relaxes on the sofa with El in his arms, it's the memory of the look on Neal Caffrey's lost-boy face that seals the deal.


	2. Compassion

**Compassion**

Height, weight, shoe size, favorite food—in his three years chasing Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke has studied the man like a particularly puzzling book. He's come to understand the peculiar mix of honor and chaos that underpin the younger man's moral code, and he's seen that Caffrey is capable of engendering deep attachment in the people around him. That's the part he hasn't quite understood, not until the strange arrangement that lands Caffrey under his care like some mix of shaggy stray dog and overgrown foster child.

Right away, Peter sees the missing piece of the puzzle: Caffrey's compassion. Neal may have cheated the world out of millions of dollars, but he never meets a person in need that he's unwilling to help.

Lots of people have been drawn in by Caffrey's charm. That's part of why it took so long to pin him down. Peter's not worried about that, though. He's always been immune to the slicker sides of Neal's personality. He never trusts without verifying.

What he's not immune to is the genuine kindness in Caffrey's voice when he talks to distraught witnesses and the ready way he's willing to do favors for people without asking a single blooming thing in return. There may be a lot wrong with Neal, but there's a lot right, too.

It's no time at all before Peter Burke decides, once and for all, that he made the right decision when it came to giving Neal Caffrey a second chance. It's not about deserving; it's about giving the goodness inside him a chance to thrive.


	3. Test

**Test**

Peter has always known, ever since he put the Caffrey arrangement in writing, that it would eventually come down to a test. Nobody can do what Neal's expected to do with a permanent ankle tracker. Still, he wishes it could have been longer before he cut the tenuous bond that keeps his consultant anchored to legitimacy.

Most days, he thinks a thin strip of plastic is the only thing between Neal and running, but once in a while, he lets himself wonder if some part of Caffrey is actually engaged in the job he's given him. With Neal, who knows?

It's not that Peter is scared. If Caffrey runs, he'll catch him again, just like he always does. But he doesn't want to. He has nightmares about having to put cuffs on his friend and lock him back in a cell. Against the advice of almost everyone he knows, he's betting he won't have to.

That's the funny thing. The only person who can catch Neal Caffrey is also the one person who believes in him. Peter is well aware of the irony, but it makes sense to him. He knows Neal better than anyone else at the bureau, no question about that.

He can't help the anxiety he feels when the tracker is cut.

He also can't help the grin that spreads across his face when the new one is fitted to Caffrey's ankle and settled under the fabric of his designer slacks. He doesn't show Neal how he feels, but when he gets home, he kisses El until she loses her breath.


	4. Partners

**Partners**

Neal Caffrey is pretty darn good company. When Peter was chasing him, he thought he had the conman pegged—handsome, charming, attractive to women. But there's more to Caffrey than that. He likes his art and his chess, but he can cowboy up when it's necessary. In his own way, he's as brave as Jones, and that's saying something.

The first time Peter seeks him out as refuge against the deluge of feminine emotion currently invading his home, he isn't sure what to expect, but he soon realizes that he likes what Neal has to offer. Who cares if the guy won't touch beer? He's good conversation and good silence, good ideas and good relaxation. He tries so hard to be impressive, but Peter Burke likes him best when he's just being himself.

Neal Caffrey is nothing at all like Peter Burke, and the agent finds he doesn't care. He has a new partner, and he's glad.


	5. Glitter

**Glitter**

When Peter Burke was young, he'd sometimes wished he was one of the popular kids, the shiny people that everyone said would go somewhere, be something, most likely to succeed.

He was always too busy doing and being. While they were falling into being actors and professional athletes and rehab veterans, he was quietly climbing the ladder toward the FBI. There was never any time to worry about whether or not his suits or his taste were in style.

As an adult, he rarely thinks about it any more, except to laugh at the irony of the fact that he, Peter Burke, is the one who ended up married to that gorgeous, flaming meteorite named Elizabeth.

Neal Caffrey is one of the shiny people, the bright, charismatic personalities who turn everything they touch to glitter, except now that Peter is grown, he sees that glitter is really just pieces of flimsy plastic. It doesn't mean anything.

Glitter is going to a hotel suite with two drunk French girls. It's partying, music, never stopping for fear you'll have to think. That's what Neal has—all Neal has. Peter gets to go home and fall asleep in Elizabeth's arms, comfortable in the knowledge that he's been perfectly honest and is well loved.

Peter wouldn't change places with Neal Caffrey. He knows he's the lucky one.


	6. Change

**Change**

He's surprised it's taken Caffrey so long to lie about something serious. It's a given that the man is always hiding _something_, but Peter allows a certain level of privacy; after all, Neal is an adult.

From day one, he's expected the moment to come when his consultant lies about something big. The difference between Peter and the rest of the world is that everyone else expects Caffrey to lie about a theft or a forgery or some FBI money he just happens to siphon into a private account. No one but Burke guesses the subject of Peter's actual lie—Kate Moreau.

Neal's never been one to do pointless things, and what gratifies Peter more than anything is how hard it obviously is for Caffrey to deal with the fact that he's deceived him. He wants to be angry, but he sees the genuine regret on his consultant's face, and his irritation evaporates.

It would bother him to lie to Neal; he didn't know the reverse was true, and it makes him feel like their unusual arrangement might actually be mutually beneficial. It's not that he doubts what Caffrey can do for the bureau; by now, the conman has proven his worth. What he doubts is whether it's making any impression on Neal.

Change, when you're talking about adults, is a complicated thing. Peter, for all his rutted ways, is essentially an optimist. Who else would take a repeat-offender conman under his wing as a trusted associate? He's always banking on the fact that there's something good in Neal that's waiting to come out.

That's why, when he goes home that night, El wants to know why he's smiling. "Neal lied to me," he says.

"I know," she answers. "I didn't expect that to make you happy."

"He was sorry, El," Peter answers.

"Yeah," she answers, her smile echoing his, "that's good."

"That's good," he repeats, and it is.


	7. Friends

**Friends**

At first, Peter tries to tell himself it was for Elisabeth.

It's true, she's incandescently happy when he lets Neal go, not that, she says, she was ever concerned that he wouldn't. She rewards him with a kiss and her company late into the night—while he does the research that will hopefully clear Caffrey.

Somewhere around midnight, he finally admits the truth that's been banging around the back of his head: He really did it for Neal. Their arrangement is no longer simply benevolent cat with wayward mouse or agent with CI. Like it or not, Caffrey is his friend.

Peter likes it. He likes it a lot. He won't admit to anyone but El exactly how much. The problem is, caring that much means that the thought of the arrangement ending makes him a little bit sick. He's always known it was highly likely that Neal would end up back in prison, but when he's confronted with the reality, it's like a sucker punch.

The grin on his face the day Neal is cleared means pure bliss. He wonders for a second if his CI knows how happy he is. Of course Caffrey knows. He can read people like open books. His answering smile is just as wide as his partner's.


	8. Fragile

**Fragile**

People are fragile. Eggshells are less breakable than most of the men and women Peter Burke knows. His understanding of this incontrovertible truth is, he's pretty sure, what makes him a successful agent and a husband who somehow manages to keep Elisabeth Burke smiling.

Neal is no exception to the rule. The world sees a rap sheet, a conviction, and a cocky man with an ankle tracker. To Peter's relief, Caffrey's never even tried to make him believe his bravado. He knows that Peter sees straight through him, and to his credit, he doesn't resent the older agent for his perceptiveness. He just takes it as a matter of course.

Peter never uses Neal's vulnerability against him. It wouldn't even come into his brain to do so. That's not how he treats anyone, let alone people he cares for. Sometimes, though, trying to protect someone means keeping back information for his own good. That's the hard part. Peter is so desperate to keep his CI from shattering into a thousand pieces that he's forced to let him believe his handler is less than the man he's learned to believe in. That hurts, and Burke lets it hurt. It's the hurt that makes him human. The day he stops feeling it when his friends distrust him is the day he will give up his badge.

When he finally tells Caffrey the truth, he sits by, ready to mop up the shattered glass of his friend's broken heart. To his surprise, the break never comes, and distrust is replaced by a deeper level of reliance than Neal has ever placed in him before.

They sit together without speaking, but the silence is peaceful. Something has shifted. Neal is no less vulnerable, but Peter feels something that tells him his CI has learned a life-altering truth: You can afford to fall if someone is there to catch you before you hit the ground.


	9. Little Brother

**Little Brother**

Peter has been a lot of things to Neal—parole officer, friend, confidante, partner. He respects his CI. More than that, he likes him. But there are things you don't ask people to do, not even when they're close friends. That's why, when he's in trouble, he goes it alone.

He's not surprised when his team comes to help him—a little abashed maybe, but not all that shocked. He's a good boss, and they all owe him at least a favor or two, though he'd never call them in. He's also not surprised when he doesn't see Neal.

Why should Caffrey be there? For all their camaraderie, Peter's a cop, and Neal is a conman. He wouldn't—shouldn't—risk going back to jail to try to save his handler. That would be stupid, and Neal isn't stupid.

Garrett Fowler is the one who looks stupid the next morning when he tries to take Peter down, using a video tape that contains nothing but static. Burke knows exactly what happened, and he can't keep the smile off his face.

If you do something crazy for the best possible reason, does it cancel out the insanity? Peter figures he'll ask Neal that. After all, he should know. He's the one who did something so ludicrously self-risking that it's the kind of thing only a brother would do.


	10. Big Brother

**Big Brother**

Peter Burke isn't a softie.

He prides himself on giving people a fair shake, just like he gave Neal. He saw potential in a misspent youth with too much talent and not enough limits. It made sense; anybody could have seen it.

He's fair, and he's no pushover. He's put a hundred people in jail, gone home, and slept uninterrupted, with his wife in his arms. He sees right and wrong, and he's not afraid to enforce one over the other.

That's why he's 100% sure he's going to put Neal Caffrey back in jail. Breaking and entering, getting himself caught, risking everything for a long shot. It's the dumbest thing the conman's ever pulled, and he deserves to go back to a cell to think about it. Peter wishes it could be different, but Neal made his choice.

"You're the only one I trust." Neal under sedation should be funny, but instead he's painfully suggestive of the little boy he must have once been. He's too far gone to be manipulative, and the words that come out of him are more sincere than anything Peter's ever heard him say. Burke wants to shake Neal in frustration when he realizes that he's learning how much his CI trusts him at the very moment he's being forced to seal the man's fate.

Peter Burke isn't a softie, but he gets up off a conference room floor and goes to find a surveillance tape that contains the only evidence of Neal Caffrey's mistake. Erase the tape, erase the mistake, keep a valuable asset. It makes logical sense, nothing soft about it. That's what Peter tells himself.


	11. Reservations

**Reservations**

Scrabble tiles. It's as good a way of communicating as anything else, Peter figures. Who is he to know how international stolen goods fencers like to get their messages across? What he does know is that he doesn't trust the blonde he finds in Neal's apartment.

Running Alex Hunter's name is invasive. Peter is totally willing to admit it. He makes no bones about the fact that he's comfortable going behind Neal Caffrey's back to keep him out of prison.

The way he sees it, it makes him more trustworthy, not less. His CI can depend on him for one thing in every situation: He will do what's best for Neal Caffrey, even if the conman fights him every step of the way.


	12. Admiration

**Admiration**

Neal Caffrey is a genius. That was one of the first things Peter learned when the case file landed on his desk. Through the years of the chase, he came to appreciate one of the keenest minds he'd ever encountered.

Secondhand is nothing to knowing Neal personally. Hardly a day goes by that Peter doesn't find something new to enjoy in an intellect that is equally good at crafting a fake Picasso and an ironclad plan to save a kidnapping victim. His favorite moments are when he and Neal are working side by side, putting their minds together to solve the impossible.

Peter has read Neal's entire file many times. Between the lines, he finds the story of a kid whose brain has always been a commodity, something people have used for profit, then discarded when it was no longer useful to them. It's no wonder Caffrey learned to trust no one and keep everything he has close to him, hidden from even his closest friends.

Peter knows by now that it doesn't matter to Neal if you think he's smart. He already knows. The thing that amazes him is having a partner who actually cares that his brain belongs to a person.


	13. Caring

**Caring**

Peter Burke is furious. It's been a long time since he's felt his thoughts cloud with barely controllable rage. He's not that kind of guy. He's also not used to being powerless to stop his partner from going into needless harm.

When he's finally home, he tells El, the same way he tells her everything. "Anger is revelatory," she says, then sits there for a few seconds while he digests the statement.

"Yep," he answers simply, "I don't want anything to happen to Neal." It's that simple. Neal has become his partner as much as anyone's ever been. He doesn't get angry unless he cares deeply.

"I'm glad," says El, kissing him.

"Me too," he answers. Peter Burke has never shied away from caring about anyone. It's what makes life worthwhile.


	14. Attachment

**Attachment**

Peter knows the stats. Most cons don't change, and he's lost more than one CI before. You're not supposed to get attached to assets, but Caffrey wouldn't even be an asset if Peter hadn't gotten attached to him when he was still wearing an orange prison jumpsuit. Neal's no thug, and he's no remorseless sociopath. He's just a kid.

Peter doesn't want to go to an airstrip to make a last-ditch effort. He's spent every day of Neal's arrangement hoping it wouldn't come to this, but he's always known it almost certainly would.

At least Caffrey is perceptive. There's no need for Burke to take him by the shoulders and yell the obvious truth that he wouldn't be there if he didn't care. Neal understands in an instant, and Peter's reward is that the conman hesitates, falters, takes time to explain what Burke already knows—that he couldn't say goodbye for fear it would turn into hello.

When thunder and flame crash through the atmosphere, Peter thanks God, the universe, and El that he's there. If he hadn't come—he doesn't want to think about that, and he doesn't have to. What he has to do now is hold onto Neal Caffrey until it's all over. Metaphorical attachment turns literal as he wraps himself around his CI and feels the kid's world breaking apart between his arms.

You're not supposed to get attached to assets, but nothing in the world could pry Peter loose.

* * *

**A/N: This concludes the chapters that go with Season 1. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Season 2 is coming!**


	15. Duty

**Duty**

CIs get hurt. They're like agents without the backing of the bureau behind them, however much people claim it's not true. Everybody knows it is. It's one of the ugliest truths of Peter's job. He wishes he could be more surprised that someone killed Kate, someone who was probably gunning for Caffrey.

Sure, you could blame Neal. You could say that a man like that, who holds property lightly and lies as easily as he breathes, deserves to make enemies along the way. You could say that, but Peter Burke would be too busy staring through glass walls at a kid he thinks of as something more than just an asset, trying to figure out how to put him back together, to be able to hear you.

The world hears Neal Caffrey's name, and they see a character—looming large with reputation and exploits that rival James Bond's. Peter just sees a grieving man staring out of lost eyes. Nobody deserves that kind of pain.

Peter Burke is no psychologist, but he's a man who always does his duty, no matter how much it takes out of him. When you're the one and only person who holds something as precious as another man's trust, you know what you have to do. Day after day, you stay. When the dark moments come, you offer a hand on the shoulder, an anchor to pull the drifting consciousness back to reality. Mostly, you smile.

Elizabeth once told Peter that his smile could bring about world peace. He laughed. He doesn't aspire to mend the world, but he's thankful every time his ready smile brings the light back to Neal's eyes. Even if it's only temporary, at least it's something.


End file.
